Top 5 Ways Dads Can Help After a Birth

Though new babies and moms tend to steal the show, dads and partners play an indispensable supporting role.  I found out just how wonderful my husband’s hands-on support was after the birth of our son earlier this year. It really does take (at least) two to raise a child. Here are some practical ways that husbands can help support their wives and babies after the birth.

1. Carry the heavy stuff: Moms are normally feeling weak and woozy after baby is born, whether they have had a vaginal birth or a C-section delivery.  Abs don’t quite work the way they used to, at least for awhile, and mom is not supposed to lift more​ than she absolutely needs to for the first few weeks. This means that dad needs to be on hand to maneuver the car seat, stroller, and grocery bags.
2. Make her breakfast: New moms are often ravenous, and need to eat even more high-quality calories than they consumed during pregnancy to restore their own nutrient levels and to also produce high-quality breast milk for baby. Give her a good start each morning by preparing a nutritious meal. One simple recipe high in B vitamins that my husband made for me could be prepared the night before - he added dried oats, water (just enough to cover the oats), butter, nuts, cinnamon and raisins to our rice cooker the night before. In the morning, he pressed “cook” and hot, nutritious oatmeal was ready in less than 10 minutes - he just added a bit of milk and honey on top. I lived for that oatmeal.
3. Feed the baby: Dads may not lactate, but they can certainly feed their newborns -- at least until mom makes an initial recovery. When we finally arrived home after a week in the hospital to treat my son's jaundice, I was beyond exhausted and emotional. My husband offered to do night feedings. During the day, after nursing sessions, I pumped my excess breast milk and stored it in the fridge.  At 9 p.m. I put in earplugs and passed out. My husband responded to my baby's regular cries, feeding him squirts of milk through a syringe each time that the baby sucked on his pinky finger, which simulated a nipple.  When he ran out of milk, usually around dawn, my husband passed baby over to me and I fed him for the rest of the morning. After each 6-hour chunk of sleep I got, I felt more 100% more human, more restored, and more grateful for my selfless spouse.
4. Take baby in the mornings: Moms will often rouse to feed baby at night during the first year or two - these frequent wake ups add up to a lot of sleep missed. One of the best things my husband does for me is to take the baby in the mornings to let me sleep an extra 30, 60, or 90 minutes. One of the best times was when we were staying in a hotel in Williamsburg for a weekend getaway and my baby decided to wake up, screaming, at 5 a.m. Though it was dark and cold outside, my husband bundled up himself and the baby and walked for miles around Colonial Williamsburg, letting me snooze until 7 a.m. It was an incredible gift.
5. “Do everything else:” This last tip sounds tough but I leave it with you as food for thought. New mothers need lots of support and rest to recover from birth, produce quality milk, and learn to breastfeed their babies. My husband really took to heart what a good friend advised him to do before my birth, “For as long as you can manage it, and for at least the first few weeks, Michelle’s only job should be to nurse the baby. You need to do everything else, from changing diapers to burping to chores to bringing the baby to her breast.”  

You know what? By following these tips, my husband was the star of the show (in my book). We’ll see if he’s up for an encore in a year or two.

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